For a lot of people pleasers, I think it's rooted in a genuine desire to connect — to be a good friend, a considerate, nurturing, and loving person. But as Meg Josephson points out in her book Are You Mad at Me?, many people who struggle with people-pleasing are operating from the fawn response. They carry the belief that in order to feel safe and loved, they need to make everyone around them happy.

In the age of digital marketing, endless Zoom calls, and ever-transforming technologies, it can be easy to overlook the simple act of asking someone to coffee. But we are still hardwired for connection—one-on-one conversations with people who are doing interesting things and willing to offer insights and connections we didn’t even know we needed.