Niceness is polite on the surface, but it tends to avoid discomfort. It keeps things pleasant. It smooths over tension. It excels at small talk and surface-level connection. But difficult conversations? Disagreement? Diverging perspectives? Niceness will differ to safer topics like the weather or last night’s game.

One of the most powerful tools to grow in self-awareness is called the Enneagram. An ancient personality typing system, the Enneagram reveals the different ways each of us sees the world and the underlying motivations that drive our patterns of thought, feelings, and behavior.