For a lot of people pleasers, I think it's rooted in a genuine desire to connect — to be a good friend, a considerate, nurturing, and loving person. But as Meg Josephson points out in her book Are You Mad at Me?, many people who struggle with people-pleasing are operating from the fawn response. They carry the belief that in order to feel safe and loved, they need to make everyone around them happy.

Niceness is polite on the surface, but it tends to avoid discomfort. It keeps things pleasant. It smooths over tension. It excels at small talk and surface-level connection. But difficult conversations? Disagreement? Diverging perspectives? Niceness will differ to safer topics like the weather or last night’s game.

What’s become increasingly clear to me is this: as AI becomes more prominent, it becomes more essential for leaders to use it intentionally and strategically. AI can absolutely be a game-changing strategic partner. It can also become a shortcut that weakens our critical thinking and dulls our craft. Both paths have very real consequences.

Leadership today is tough. Silence feels safe, but it comes at a cost. Here’s why finding your voice matters.